Though it is important to clearly articulate your message, it is equally important to pay close attention to the tone in which your message is delivered. Recently, I read an article from Psychology Today written by Alex Lickerman. In regard to tone, Lickerman says that:
“Whatever the content of the things we say, it’s our tone that communicates what we’re feeling when we say them. Our tone tells the truth even when our words don’t, even when we’re unaware of that truth ourselves. And it’s our tone to which others respond. We can even say ‘I love you’ in a way that provokes bitterness and then innocently argue we’re being unfairly attacked when the person to whom we’ve said it quite rightly responds to our tone rather than our words. Don’t be fooled by this kind of faux denial from others. What you think you hear in another person’s tone is almost always present. And if someone accuses you of an attitude or feeling you don’t think you have, unless they’re particularly thick or have some hidden agenda, what they have to say likely represents something you need to hear.”
I know I, as I’m sure many of you are, am guilty of saying things without fully thinking about the tone I am using. Not only can tone cause trouble in our personal relationships, it can cause trouble in our business relationships as well. So what do we do!? Sometimes it is difficult to take the time it requires to fully think something through before blurting it out. An article in the Washington Post suggests feedback and evaluation to improve our tone.
Feedback will establish whether or not you are successfully portraying your message and if it is coming across the way you want. Is it coming across as confident as you would like? It is recommended that you record yourself so that you are able to reflect on your tone, voice inflections, the pitch of your voice, accents, and the pace at which you speak.
Evaluating these different aspects will allow you to determine whether you sound pleasant, bored, confident, or immature. You will be able to hear if you are emphasizing the points you’d like to, if you have an accent or speech pattern that makes it difficult for people to understand, and if you are speaking at a sufficient pace.
Finally, the article states that “you might look the part, but if you don’t sound the part, that can be a turnoff for recruiters, employers and potential clients,” which I agree with. Self-assessment is one of the best ways for us to improve our communication. I’m curious, after listening more closely, do you need to tone it down?
Sources:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201008/the-importance-tone
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/04/AR2011020406095.html
PR for the Non-Communicators 